![]() Sometimes accepting the situation and moving on isn’t what we need. It can convey that their hurt feelings are invalid and not worth discussing. While you may use a phrase like this to make another person feel good, it can also have the opposite effect. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”.It’s wise to be cautious when using any of the following phrases and to pay attention to when others use them as well: In some contexts, though, these expressions can come off as dismissive or unhelpful to someone coping with something. Note that none of these phrases is necessarily problematic or unkind on its own. You can often identify toxic positivity by specific common phrases. Option B exhibits empathy and optimism in a more nuanced approach. And only then do they offer (rather than try to enforce) optimism as a way forward while still giving the other person space to express themselves further. In option B, the speaker acknowledges the other person’s pain. Option A is an example of toxic positivity. Option A attempts to use positivity as a blunt instrument, a shortcut back to good times. But option B is an example of being a great listener and acknowledging reality. Is there anything I can do for you right now to help?”īoth options come from an instinct to be supportive. I can’t believe your boss treated you like that. Option B: “Man, that sounds like it sucked I’m sorry. And it’s over now, so cheer up! Let’s watch a movie to take your mind off it.” įor example, consider these two possible responses to someone telling you about a terrible day they’ve had: ![]() ![]() The main distinction between toxic positivity and healthy optimism is whether positivity is helping to navigate a challenging situation or attempting to replace one. It only becomes toxic when you use positivity as a blunt instrument to force yourself or someone else to feel better. Healthy, realistic optimism means accepting the circumstances of your life as they are and using a positive attitude to navigate through them. This approach can invalidate emotions, leave problems to fester, and ultimately make people feel worse than before. Toxic positivity occurs when you take a dogmatic, black-and-white approach to focus on the positive at the expense of all else. Optimists often choose to see the bright side of things, but that doesn’t mean they ignore when difficult or unfortunate things happen. It is a common misunderstanding that being an optimistic person means you need to ignore these moments, or pretend every situation is good no matter what. Hard times help us grow and make the sweet times even sweeter. Stepping through challenging experiences is integral to a happy, healthy life. No matter how optimistic and fortunate you may be, there will always be trials and difficulties for you to face. At the same time, negative feelings are bound to happen. That’s probably how they got that name, although there’s no way to know for sure. The Role of Negativity in Healthy Optimism What matters is how you manage when you encounter adverse circumstances or emotions. You can stay positive all day without necessarily wading into toxicity. Toxic positivity is less a matter of “too much” optimism and more about how thinking positively comes into play. ![]() How can there be too much of a naturally great thing? The phrase “toxic positivity” can come across as a bit of an oxymoron - It seems almost silly, like “vegetable overdose,” “excessive gratitude,” or “puppy infestation.” Toxic positivity can take many forms, but in most cases, it is an attempt at optimism that has the unintended effect of making people feel worse. But under the wrong circumstances, it can backfire. Positive thinking is a powerful tool that can significantly improve your life and the lives of those around you. Let’s take a closer look at how toxic positivity works and where it comes from, then explore some ways you can start protecting yourself and others from it with honest, healthy optimism. Toxic positivity results when well-meaning attempts at optimism and encouragement land in a way that is ultimately more harmful than constructive. But even great things can come with downsides, and with optimism, one of the biggest is toxic positivity.Įven something as genuinely wonderful as a positive attitude can be problematic for those who don’t engage with it thoughtfully. A healthy mix of empirical evidence and anecdotal experience consistently support the idea that a positive attitude can positively impact everything from happiness and mental health to relationships, professional success, and long-term personal goals. Positive thinking is one of the most bafflingly powerful forces in the known universe.
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